HELPING OTHERS

On this October first I am reminded by my this morning’s view of how my daughter sees the world.  In the hours and days that Samime and I have sat in attending our daughter, we’ve often wondered how she sees things. What goes on inside her head as she goes through the day.  She used to want to Help Others.  Helping Others makes anyone feel better. We know this about Derya.

#FreeDerya @FreeDerya
Derya Sitting there looking on to the future

Little known is that Samime and I have in essence constructed an apartment within our home for Derya.  It’s her space, meaning nearly everything she needs is available for her and within easy reach for us to get if she needs it.  

We both envision a day when, after she has recovered, hoping to help others in the same way that Derya has been helped, either through helping others provide care for their suffering loved one or some other type of facility specifically designed to fight this disease.  Helping Others.

We know that Derya is going to get better.  I’ve often talked about faith and needing it through these tough times. However, despite it all, the knowledge that she is going to get better is preeminent in our thoughts.  It’s almost as if you have to put aside the things that people have done to you, accept this tragedy and move forward with your life.

In putting the bad chapters behind you, you never have to forget as much as forgive those who have done you wrong.  No one is asking you to repeat the mistakes of the past through trusting those who have done you wrong and nothing prevents me from teaching and helping others from making those same mistakes of trust.  We know who the good people are and those who have done good by us.

And yes, she is going to get better.  And yes, I beg God to give me the courage of forgiveness.  However, I will NOT forget them. And Samime and I will work our hardest to help others facing the same obstacles, challenges and difficulties.  

FreeDerya
#FreeDerya  @FreeDerya

The picture here, a metaphor for the way in which Derya sees the world, filled with fog.  When she was little this was her playground, the area that she would play on. There’s a picture of her as a little girl, sitting in a chair in this field.  Today, her clarity sacrificed because “others” couldn’t be wrong in their diagnosis. They chose to accept their faulty diagnosis as the best answer because it was the easiest answer – for them.  The damage of their decision has pushed her recovery back by years.

Sitting across from me is Derya, eyes glued to another episode of “The Office.”  I’d ilke to tell you why she’s laughing, which she is, but you probably already know that it’s one of those things about the show.  It just makes you laugh out loud. The crew of Dunder-Mifflin Scranton Branch is a guarantee to make me laugh, and that is equally true of her.    In fact, it can provide us with another metaphor.

During one of the earlier episodes Jim relays about how he would add quarters to the phone of Dwight.  If you’ve never watched the show, check it out on Netflix. The phone got heavier and Dwight would pick it up not realizing that he was using more strength. Then one day Jim took the coins out of the phone and Dwight ended up smacking himself in the head.   

I liken this to all of us.  We get used to a certain response, activity or action and we seem to not notice the difficulties we have and when things change we often stumble or have some type of realization that things are different.  

I encourage you, even if you have no one in your life whose struggling as Derya does, please break yourself out of that routine before you get smacked in the head by the empty phone as Dwight was.  

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